Friend or Foe?

How many of you have been in a situation where you fell out with a close friend and all your business was suddenly out on the streets? Yea, me too.

When you’re truly friends with someone, the secrets and stories you share are sacred and should never be exposed even after a falling out. That’s common knowledge, however, some “friends” are sideline haters just waiting for your downfall.

You’re probably wondering, “how can I tell if my friend is truly my friend?” Well ask yourself these questions: Does my friend disparage my ideas and dreams? Is my friend discouraging? Does my friend always make me the butt of a joke? If you have a “friend” that comes to mind, honey you better leave them alone and fast.

Often times people do end up in friendships that turn into jealousy. You may have overcame a tough situation, one that your friend would have just given up on. Or you could have gotten a job promotion, giving you more disposable income your friend doesn’t have. Granted this shouldn’t be an issue and you should be supported, but there are some people out there that cannot handle not being the center of attention.

True friendship is about encouraging and supporting one another. It is about lifting someone up and being there for each other through the ups and downs. I like to think of myself as a ride or die friend. I’m the type that will defend you in public but check you in private. I’m always a shoulder to lean on and with comforting open arms. I celebrate all accomplishments, whether that be graduating college, starting a business, getting a new car and/or house, etc. However, I do hold all my friends accountable for their actions because that’s what friends should do. Despite this, I’ve still had friends burn me because they didn’t have what I had.

As you all know I just recently moved to Houston and graduated college. I had an ex-friend that never congratulated me on either. I didn’t even receive a happy birthday. Are you wondering why we fell out? You’re about to gag, but it stemmed from a video on my YouTube channel that they never watched, but was offended by a 15 second clip of it posted on Instagram. Imagine that, a 10 year friendship destroyed because of a YouTube video snippet. However, later on I realized throughout our entire friendship there was a level of jealousy. I was able to accomplish things that they thought they never could.

This is why I say it’s important to look at your friend groups and see who is actually down for you. They say keeps your friends close and your enemies closer, but that’s a bunch of BS. Who wants all that negative energy constantly around them? Pay your enemies dust, because you can be receiving positive, uplifting energy from the people that actually care about you.

If you ever get the chance to watch Tyler Perry’s play, “Madea Goes To Jail,” he eloquently explains relationships through a metaphorical tree. Essentially, you find 3-5 friends who are like roots to your tree. They are the ones who keep you grounded and feed your growth.

Also never be afraid to express your feelings. If your friend is doing something that you don’t agree with, speak up. And if they don’t make any attempt to fix the issue, then you know where you stand in that friendship. However, certain situations are on an agree to disagree basis.

As you grow older, you will start to notice your friend groups getting smaller and smaller but that’s okay, because the few that are left are the ones that are in your life for a reason.

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